I remember it well; I would sit there, unbothered, in my chamber as I felt the environment around me inhale and exhale, every breath a magnificent ride as I enjoyed the simple wonders of being alive. Everything, everything I could see was mine, attached to me by the cable of life, the very cord that allowed me to have such joys as I was having. And every day, along that cable would come my food and water, with no work in between, no hardships. My name is Klafterus, and I was once a winner; back then, everyone was a winner. There was no worry.

 

And then one day I was forced out. I was not warned. I was not told politely in a letter that said, "You are being evicted." I was just pushed out faster than you can say, "You know you need unique New York." The hours following were the most agonizing of my life. Every second was pure pain, pure torture as my fragile body was jerked around and bloodied up. Yes, it was the off-white light at the end of the tunnel approaching. I knew what that light held. The most horrible shame that could ever be held in one's heart. And I was forced to sit there and watch everything I had ever known be pulled away from me as I drew closer to that shame and listened to the endless screams from beyond...

 

Then it was over. I was suddenly an exhibit in a zoo, a comedian put on stage with no clothes or punchline. And the screams were stopped. A complete change of character had come over the world. Now all the voices were soft, saying things like, "Oh my God, he's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen!" or, "He's got your eyes, Nicky." But the worst of all was the sentence that still haunts me to this day, the horrible string of words that stripped me of my soul: "Hello, Joseph Alan Hines."

 

My name is not Joseph. It is Klafterus. It will always be Klafterus, no matter what anyone says, no matter what anyone does. In that moment all the identity I'd had was taken away. I didn't know who I was anymore, I didn't know where I was, and I didn't know what meaning I held in the universe I had been the center of before. From that moment on, I have been a loser. I have not cracked a smile since. All my actions to date have resulted in loss: loss of health, loss of love, loss of reputation.

 

I am Joseph Alan Hines. No matter how hard I try to change that, that is who I am.

 

I am a loser.