Thanksgiving at the Hines House

Love the holidays with my family
But Thanksgiving's the one that really gets me
The turkey smells so good when it's cooking
And Adam grabs my ass when he thinks no one's looking
Soon we'll be eating cranberries and candied yam-as
I wonder if Carla'll wear her pajamas
The turkey has one leg, I guess it was lame
Don't bug Ed when he's watching the game
Thanksgiving only happens in the Fall
And Jennifer knows she's the queen of it all
The table's all set and everybody knows
My dad will be there 'cause the casinos are all closed
Mom's in the kitchen for the first time ever
That's what my grandma says 'cause she's so damn clever
Everyone now thinks grandma's screws are loose
What'll we do with mom if she finds the Gray Goose?
Stephen's upstairs, for now he's all right
He'll probably be grounded by the end of the night
I hope they serve the wine in a big old cup
David's still in bed and he won't get up
Michael's playin' guitar through the microphone
And all of Cheryl's friends are being rude on the phone
My girlfriend's coming over and the future is hazy
When she meets my family she'll prob'ly think I'm crazy
I'll be in the kitchen drinking whiskey sours
I hope to pass out in the first half hour
Happy Thanksgiving everybody!